NaNoWriMo
by Crimson Cupcake
Summary: Featuring the rivalry between L and Kira in one of the most deadliest, harshest and cruelest battles ever! The battle of writing 50,000 words in 30 days. The battle of...NaNoWriMo! No pairings, pure CRACK!


**A/N:** This is a fanfiction promoting NaNoWriMo xD For those of you who don't know, it's at http:/www. nanowrimo. org/ (take out the spaces) and it's about writing a novel of 50,000 words in the month of November. That's 30 days. Pretty big feat, huh? (Almost like Achilles killing an entire army -shot-)

Please excuse me. I'm on a Greek high.

I hope all of you will choose to do NaNoWriMo, because honestly, it isn't as hard as this fanfiction says it is xDD And signing up right now is the best time, because you get to develop your plot and stuff. The forums are unbelievably busy around September/October, and in November nobody really has time to go on...

**Disclaimer:** If you read this and still think I own Death Note, you are a strange person.

**Warning:** No pairings, but a lot of CRACK and this has been proofread by Sazerac

* * *

_December 3rd  
An unknown hotel in America_

The room was bathed in semi-darkness. The blinds were drawn and barely allowed any light to pass. The furniture in the room was untouched – the table, chairs, television and even bed not at all.

In fact, the only sign of life was a laptop, sitting on the floor in the middle of the large room and the person crouching next to it. They wore a simple white shirt and faded jeans and no shoes, their wild hair untameable no matter what was dealt. On the screen a document was displayed, and it looked similar to a graph. While the graph went up or down as each variable changed, there seemed to be a section where it dropped immensely and then picked back up.

"So...these are the killings of Kira."

L picked up a strawberry and dropped it into his mouth before going back to scrutinise the chart. "Hmm...interesting." He pressed a few quick keys in his laptop. "Watari."

"L." The voice was synthetic, obviously disguised with a digitizer.

"I need to speak with the police force. Are you there right now?"

"I am. I will connect you to their server."

Within a few short moments, L was able to see the whole of the police force through a camera placed in the wall. He told them of his findings – of how he knew that Kira was a school student and of how he realized that Kira was in Japan – and had to explain over and over again, as if to a child, how he had deducted such evidence.

"But the most important finding of all..." L began, and the police officers shifted in their seats, eager to hear the news. "...is that there were absolutely no murders in November."

"Why is that, L?"

L allowed himself a wry smirk. "Kira must have been doing...NaNoWriMo."

**-NANOWRIMONANOWRIMONANOWRIMO-**

_Flashback:  
11:59pm November 1st  
Yagami Household, Kanto region, Japan_

The alarm clock rang at exactly 11:59 at night. Yagami Light was up immediately. Usually he was a perfectionist, sleeping at exactly 9pm and waking up at exactly 6:30am in the morning. Key word: usually. This was _not_ usually.

Frantically, Light got dressed and turned on his computer, anxiously waiting for Windows to load, as his beloved 'Apple' Macintosh had been eaten by an overly-curious shinigami. When it seemed to take longer than usual to start up, he descended the stairs quietly (careful not to wake Sayu) to fetch some apples.

"What's got you so excited?" Ryuk grinned, tossing the apple in the air and swallowing it with a single bite. If Light was going to give him apples for his quiet he was more-than-happy to oblige.

By this time, Light was already upstairs, all thoughts of his own noise forgotten. "Na..." he panted, hurriedly typing in his 46-character-long password. "Na...Na...NaNoWriMo!" he cried, clicking the icon of Microsoft Word and practically jumping up and down in anticipation.

Ryuk blinked. "Whazzat?"

"Fiftythousandwordsinamonth," Light said hurriedly, as the document opened. He quickly pounced onto the keyboard and held his hand there, poised to strike. _Ten seconds ... nine ... eight ... sevensixfivefourthreetwoone...START!_

The clattering noise of keys in the air was enough for Ryuk to look up from his second apple. "What the-? Is this some sort of thing humans have for fun? I should try it, hm?"

Light shrugged, already 500 words and two minutes in. "Do whatever."

The Shinigami pondered a little, before remembering something more important. "Wait, wait! So this is gonna last the whole month? What about killing criminals?"

Light shrugged again, now more than 1,000 words in while typing at inhumane speeds. "I don't care. It pales in comparison to _this_!"

Ryuk rolled his eyes and munched on his apple.

**-NANOWRIMONANOWRIMONANOWRIMO-**

_12:30am November 1st  
An unknown hotel in America_

L sat there contentedly, a slice of cake on the desk and a laptop in front of him. Sitting with his legs drawn up to his chest, he prodded the keys very very slowly, one at a time, with a patient expression on his face. "I'm never going to get to 1667 words a day," L muttered to himself. It had been half an hour already, and he was only up to his third word.

On his other (work) computer, something beeped. L's eyes quickly skimmed the message. It contained a very urgent case which needed to be solved before the murderer took his next victim. Now usually, L would tend to these cases right away, but today, he turned back to his other (non-work) computer and kept prodding. Very slowly.

It was at that moment when L suddenly had a genius idea. Why not go onto the website and see how many words others have done? It would surely give him a confidence boost to know that there were people who had written absolutely nothing. After updating his word count, he went to check his friend's. TotallyDoesNotHaveADeathNote, a person whom L completely trusted not to have a Death Note, quickly caught his attention.

"1,476 words already." L muttered, picking up another piece of cake. "I have to write faster."

**-NANOWRIMONANOWRIMONANOWRIMO-**

_12:45am November 1st  
Yagami Household, Kanto Region, Japan_

After writing more than 2,000 words and still feeling pumped up, Light decided to check the NaNoWriMo site to see whether anyone else had finished their daily quota. Granted, it had only been 45 minutes since they were allowed to start, but he still felt extremely paranoid. Clicking his friend's list, he noted that his only friend Justice_Will_Prevai.L had only written 5 words.

"HAH!"

Letting out a jubilant yell of triumph and most likely waking up his entire family, Light jumped up into the air. "HAH! TAKE THAT, JUSTICE_WILL_PREVAI.L! I'M BEATING YOU! THE AWESOME AND BRILLIANT YAGAMI LIGHT IS BEATING YOU!"

And then he seemed to remember something more important and immediately went back to typing, whispering things which sounded like, "Nonono, please don't let him beat me while I was saying that...please...!" Noticing that Justice_Will_Prevai.L's word count hadn't changed during the five seconds he had used to celebrate, he leered evilly. "Just you wait. I will WIN!"

He went back to typing.

**-NANOWRIMONANOWRIMONANOWRIMO-**

_2:00am November 15th  
Yagami Household, Kanto Region, Japan_

At two o'clock in the morning, a seventeen-year-old brunette was hunched over his computer. His appearance was ragged, and the bags under his eyes made it seem as if he hadn't slept for two weeks. Behind him, an amused shinigami was chewing chewing on an apple.

"I...can't...do...this...any...more," Light wheezed, desperately pressing key after key but only producing a jumble of mess. "My characters...are pathetic...my plot has a million holes and is going nowhere...my...writing...is horrifying...I'm only...up to...25,000 words...I...can't...finish..." He suddenly sat up straighter. "NO! I must finish! I must beat Justice_Will_Prevai.L! I will write and write and write!"

And so he did.

**-NANOWRIMONANOWRIMONANOWRIMO-**

_2:30am November 15th  
Yagami Household, Kanto Region, Japan_

"I...really...can't...do...this...any...more..." Yagami Light collapsed on the table, utterly exhausted.

"Wow, this Kira really fails," Ryuk remarked mildly.

**-NANOWRIMONANOWRIMONANOWRIMO-**

_2:00am November 15th  
An unknown hotel in America_

Tap. Tap. Tap.

The sound of slow tapping on a worn keyboard filled the room. To anyone apart from the user, it would have been an incredibly annoying noise. Fortunately, there was nobody else in the room, and they could tap as loudly and as slowly as they wanted.

L picked up another piece of cake and, realizing he had just typed another word, went to update his word count. It now stood at 101 words, a record for the Century's Greatest Detective. Although he still had absolutely no idea _how_ on earth he was supposed to get to 50,000 it didn't really matter, he reasoned.

After all, the tortoise beat the hare.

Nodding wisely to himself and muttering about how he was definitely going to beat TotallyDoesNotHaveADeathNote, L went back to writing.

**-NANOWRIMONANOWRIMONANOWRIMO-**

_11:59pm November 30th  
Yagami Household, Kanto Region, Japan_

The tension was running high in the Yagami household. Upstairs, in a small, dark, unkempt part of the house which Light did not dare disclose to anyone else for fear of being looked down upon was a brunette hurriedly typing on his PC. His pace was absolutely furious, his hands becoming a blur and the letters going so fast that sometimes the word document would freeze.

Light cursed. He was so close. He only had 48k, and he needed to write!

He checked his digital clock, which was accurate down to the last millisecond.

One more minute left.

The last minute on Earth.

And if he did not write 2,000 words within the next minute...

Then life as he knew it was about to end.

Realizing that he had just spent the last half a minute contemplating what would happen if he _didn't_ finish, Light panicked. "AHHHHHHHHHH!" he scream-whispered, hands typing at speeds impossible to man. When Microsoft Word froze, he quickly switched to Notepad and continued typing.

There were less than 20 seconds left...

...15 seconds...

...Microsoft Word was still frozen...

...He was not going to make it...

...Microsoft Word unfroze...

...10 seconds...

9...

8...

7...

Suddenly, his word count crossed the 50,000 word line. "YES! YES! OH FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY AND ALL SHINIGAMI IN SHINIGAMI-LAND, YES! I MADE IT!" Yagami Light shouted jubilantly, waving his Death Note in the air and jumping up and down like a maniac.

That was until he remembered he still had to validate his word count.

"NO! NO! LET ME MAKE IT IN TIME!" Quickly copying and pasting his entire manuscript without bothering to scramble it as he had planned, he frantically copied the whole thing into the box and waited, holding his breath.

His browser froze.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He let out a scream of pure anguish.

His browser unfroze.

"YYYYYEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!" He screamed in triumph and clicked the _submit_ button just as his clock hit 12:00am.

The page had not yet loaded.

It was then that Yagami Light, _the_ Yagami Light, prayed to God. Or Shinigami. Or Ryuk. Or Kira. Or himself. Or whichever god of his choice (though it was probably himself) and prayed that he had pressed the button in time, that he had won his first ever NaNoWriMo.

Light was bursting with anticipation when the page loaded.

He checked his word count: 50,001.

There was a stunned silence.

"!"

He shrieked, a loud scream which echoed throughout the whole of Japan, which echoed throughout the whole world, even reaching America where a certain Justice_Will_Prevai.L was sitting, eating cake. "I WON! I WON! YOU HEAR THAT, JUSTICE_WILL_PREVAI.L! I WON! WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!" Cheering like a wanted criminal who had outsmarted the police, Light proceeded to pocky dance.

This was the best day of his life.

Meanwhile, Ryuk watched and cackled.

**-NANOWRIMONANOWRIMONANOWRIMO-**

_12:00am December 1st  
An unknown hotel in America_

Sitting hunched in front of his computer, L thought he heard a loud 'YES!' scream. He immediately dismissed it to be his imagination and went back to typing. That was, until he realized...it was December. It was December. It was December. And if it _was_ December, then that meant...

"NaNoWriMo is...over?"

L cocked his head to one side and checked the site, where his word count still stood at 251 words, a mere 0.502 percent of what he needed. He frowned intently, picking up yet another piece of cake. Sure enough, the site no longer allowed him to update his word count. But as he checked, he _did_ get a personal message. And it was from TotallyDoesNotHaveADeathNote!

L scowled when he realized that TotallyDoesNotHaveADeathNote had 50,001 words. _So he actually did make it..._ he thought to himself disappointedly. If only he had typed faster. Opening the personal message, it read:

_To: Justice_Will_Prevai.L_

_Ha! I won NaNoWriMo! I am the brilliant God of the New Universe! Hail me in my eternal glory! HAHAHAHAHAHA!_

_And you? You lost! You LOSER! Justice is a LOSER! Haha! You just got OWNED by Yagami Light!_

L realized two things from this letter. One, that L actually _could _stand for loser (but of course it didn't). Two, the real name of TotallyDoesNotHaveADeathNote is Yagami Light. And three, he had just found Kira.

He quickly rang the police.

**

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A/N: **Okay, so maybe the canon date wasn't accurate, but you get my point xDD If you don't really get the mechanics of NaNoWriMo, I suggest you sign up right now, or at least give it a bit of thought ^^

If you do decide to do it, PM me! My name is Chillibean xD

Oh, and by the way, it really is my birthday today xD So will ya review?

~CC


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